Deserve by C.C. Snow

Author:C.C. Snow [Snow, C.C.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2016-08-25T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seventeen

Sean

I glance down at Maggie’s worried face and fight to keep my expression neutral. Seeing Leslie has sent my emotions spiraling. Her whispered words that James misses me only remind me of what a fuck-up I am as a godfather and as a friend.

You’re my hero.

Maggie would never have said that if she knew what I had done.

You don’t deserve her, an insidious voice whispers in my head. Look at all the misery you’ve caused with your screw-ups.

I try to shove that voice back into the dark recesses of my mind, but it’s only a matter of time before it comes out to mock and taunt me again. It’s been my constant companion for many years and it’s never going away.

“Sean?” She squeezes my hand to get my attention. “Are you okay?”

Forcing my lips to pull up, I lie, “Yeah. Let’s go.” My fingers curl around her hand possessively as we start to walk to my car.

Suddenly she halts and pulls out her phone. “Oh, it’s Cael.”

Crushing guilt bolts through me and I drop her hand like it’s a hot coal. Fuck. There’s so much shit I’m hiding from him.

Fortunately, Maggie is focused on her phone and doesn’t see my expression. “He just got the notification about the assault and is freaking out.” Her mouth twists in concentration as she taps rapidly into her phone before pocketing it again.

“What did you tell him?”

She peeks at me, looking abashed. “Um…since we filed the report today, he doesn’t know I’m involved. I just told him I’d be careful. Hopefully there won’t be any more news updates about the case.”

Acid burns in my stomach. I feel like a fucking traitor. “Maggie—”

“No, we already agreed I can’t tell him.” She starts to walk purposefully in the direction of the car. “So, I never knew you had a godson. It’s obviously Leslie’s son, Mac?” Maggie glances at me from the corner of her eye.

The change of subject is just as uncomfortable for me. “Yeah.” When I don’t say anything else, she tilts her head inquiringly.

“Do you see him often?”

“Not really.” Only once at the baptism.

“Why not? Don’t you like kids?”

“Never been around them much.”

“They’re pretty great,” she says, as if she’s trying to convince me.

“You have to say that. You’re going to be a pediatrician,” I point out, trying to divert her attention away from personal questions, but it doesn’t work.

“Why don’t you see Mac more often?”

“Busy, I guess.” Inside, I snarl in disgust at how easily the lies are rolling off my tongue.

“Leslie says her husband was your partner.”

“Yeah. James was one of the best cops I know.”

“Was?” A line appears between her brows.

“Yeah, he left NYPD three years ago.” Don’t elaborate. Don’t give her an opening to ask more questions.

“Was it because he was shot?”

Fucking Leslie and her goddamn big mouth. I dart a glance at her face, wondering what else they had discussed in the other room. “Yeah.”

She narrows her eyes at my unresponsiveness, but to my relief, drops the subject.

On our way to the hospital, I strategize how I can keep her safe.

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